Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i dont even know how to be here
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
