...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
