He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
