Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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