Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
