6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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