you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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