i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
