If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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