Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
