I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Mom said you looked used
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
