and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
