She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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