oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
love makes seman taste better
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
