I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
