If i come over, it means nothing
I seem to have left my pride at pride
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
