..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
