I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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