he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
