TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
