omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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