I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
