and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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