Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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