I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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