I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
