This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
