10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
