dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
