She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
