You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize