Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
