Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
