Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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