"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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