We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
