9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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