just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
