stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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