I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
