yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
