Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
