I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he thought i was a dude.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
