I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
