I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
