i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
