but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
