You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
