My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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