Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
